Purpose of Life

Mona, My wife's younger sister and a very loveable person in our family, wrote to me yesterday. The question she asked is asked by less than .01% people (and no one at her age). Lucky for her she did asked. It made me do some study and some introspection.

I read a book recently written by Mitch Albom titled "Tuesdays with Morrie". Its a story of an old college professor (Morrie)in his last days, a young man (Mitch)who was once his student, and life's greatest lesson. I love this book as it is a true story that leaves you with a great understanding of the question that less than .01% even think about. "What is the purpose of life?"

Morrie the old professor says : "So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let is come in. Let it come in. We think we don't deserve love, we think if we let it come in, we'll become too soft. But a wise man name Levine said it just right. Love is the only rational act.

I reflect on my life and see that above is so true and real. Each word cause confrontation. For me the most difficult one is to let love come in. Any way that's my jorney.

I thank Mona for making pick up the lost thread again. This is such a profound conversation to dwell into. While life is empty and meaningless, it doesn't take to be rocket scientist or a great saint to provide formula of life. Just by dwelling into conversation opens up a new realm of possibilities.

Untill next time...

Marriage Elysium

Bible says What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Mark 10:9

It was a wise man who said that it is important not only to pick the right mate, but to be the right mate. And contrary to many popular love stories, it is not during the first year of bliss that most dangers crop up. Marriages do not, like dropped chinaware, smash as a result of that first quarrel.

Marriage is a rooted thing, a growing and flowering thing that must be tended faithfully. Lacking the mutual effort, we are apt to find some day that our marriage, so hopefully planted, has been withering unnoticeably. Gradually we realize that for some time, the petals have lost their luster, that the perfume is gone.

We all welcome daily watering with the little gracious affectionate act. With mutual concern for other’s contentment, with self-watchfulness here and self-forgetfulness there, it brings forth ever new blossoms.

Perhaps the greatest blessing in marriage is that it lasts so long. The years, like the varying interests of each year, combine to strengthen and enrich each other.

I remember Thomas Moore’s beautiful words on marriage:

There’s a bliss beyond all that the minister has told
When two, that are linked in one heavenly tie,
With heart never changing, and brow never cold,
Love on through all ills, and love on till they die.

One hour of passion so scared is worth
Whole age of heartless and wandering bliss;
Ah Oh! If there be an Elysium* on earth,
It is this – it is this!

*Elysium means paradise

Not everything needs to be fixed

Ever since I was a child, I used to look at the people who were undergoing surgeries and deaths, divorce and separations, working in a foreign land and not available to families in need. And I always was clear that there is something wrong in these people. These things happen to others, not to me.

I am different.

The irony of life is all that we hope and are sure of will never happen to us, happens to us too. As they say "The more you resist, the more it persists".

I can recall some incidents in my life too. A collapsed business, a second disaster in business, a legal fight with tenant over non issues, sudden death of a parent, emergency surgery of a child, turbulent shift in country of residence for family, and so on.

I also never imagined that I will be a successful man. Looked like it will be an average life, with a no glamor or importance. But that also ditched my belief. While going through all the turbulence in person life and dealing with disasters, I learned many a lessons.

It is surprising that in a foreign land, where no one knew me 4 years ago, I have a successful and satisfying career and social life.

But the life ironies don't seem to give up. Just when we think - "And then they lived happily ever after" - life kicks you where it hurts the most. And teaches you a new lesson.

So, should we be grateful for these kicks by life, or sulk and crib?

It took me a long time, but I've finally figured it out. When it comes to life, just take it one day at a time.

My wife and kids have gone back to our home country, leaving me struggling for what's next. I have recently been diagnosed of diabetes and stone in my kidney. Another thing I knew would never happen to me. But I just want to tell you, I feel great to be alive, am still invited to chair the social events and conduct high level trainings. I am blessed to conduct children education classes on weekends.

And I maybe here today or in India tomorrow or in USA next year.

I want you to know that I am enjoying it.And this is the way, I will live the rest of my life. As Randy Pausch said "Not everything needs to be fixed".