There was joy and there were tears.
My son, daughter and son were going back to boarding school at Nainital after spending 4 days with us for Diwali vacations. Our daughter has been in Boarding school for 5 years now and son for 4 years. The railway station with its crowd and teeming travellers was hardly the place to burst into tears, so I fought for self control. I tried to be angry at the crowd, traffic and dirty station. Like any good Indian I was happy that my children study in good Boarding schools, but my pride was tempered with the prospect of empty nest and loneliness that accompanies it.
The train had arrived. There was time for but a final hug. Anmol sensed the tears before she saw them. Ok Dad Take care. We will meet up soon in Muscat. Its just one month for Winter Vacations. And more over I will call you on Wednesday evenings.
In the last 5 years children have grown up from kids to young adults. I am happy at there personality and traits development.
I let the tears flow as I travelled back on the Metro to home that night. Moist eyed, I clibed up the stairs to my flat. No more blaring music, Play Station sounds, no sudden requests for Paranthas or milkshake, no more incessant stream of kids from the nieghborhood, or the pleasant sound of young laughter.
Its been 5 years that we are going through this ritual. We still shed our tears when saying good bye to our kids. Missing them is part of parenthood.
But then, so is letting go.
On that note, I was listening to the classic english number today, and posted the song on my facebook :
You can let go now Daddy,
you can let go
Oh, I think I am ready,
To do this on my own
It's still a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be Okay now daddy,
You can let go.
