One of the most difficult relationsips for a man to manage is his wife. We marry fantasies and then reach peak of fun and joy in the initial few days. Both parters are busy doing Brand Management for themselves and their respective families. Slowly the fantasies transition into realities. Difference of opinion emerge over Shopping Habits and Upbringing of children. My mother becomes better then your mother. My job becomes more important than your job. In the meanwhile children reach teenage. Now the focus shfts from finding faults in each other to our approach towards Parenting. You want to divorce but don't do it because it will have cause trauma for children.
Without even knowing you have crossed 40 years and then the next difference of opinion starts. House and Retirement. Social groups and religious beliefs.
Well this is where things become little more complex. You have attended relationship management training programs and leadership courses. None of that seems to be working in your relationship. What produces results does not work at home.
You need to unwind more often and Liquor bills start to increase.
Realtionship goes down the drain. In laws from both sides move in to provide Free of Charge (unsolicited) consultations. Children move out to Higher Studies. Home is quite. Silence is golden, but too much silence is deafening.
Now we are 55 years, have tea, lunch, walks together, but have different friends, different relegious circles, and watch different TV channels.
And then one day one of us dies, unfulfilled and incomplete. The other parter then grieves over what he/she could have done if only he/she would have lived for a few more years.
This relationship is the most complex and difficult.
I invite you to post your experinecs and comments.
GP,
ReplyDeleteGreat to start a blog. Your take on marriages is absolutely right. Coming from traditional families, we go through our married lives. There are no fixed ways to guide, so it is more a Trial and Error route. In different cultures, such misunderstandings erupt and lead to separations. So atleast for the sake of children and society, it is not a way of life with us. I know my comment is a confusing one, but that is what married life is all about.
GP
ReplyDeleteVery great job ! Gyan in any form is always welcome. That too in simple understandable stories like this - most welcome !!
We expect many more from you , especially with your unique touch - we expect Laugh / laughter not a just smile !!
Very true. But still we have hopes, that someday our spouse would transform in such a way that before I uttar a word he/she would understand what I want.
ReplyDeletePeople keep doing their best and putting efforts goes on and on from both the ends.... but difference of opinion would still be there.
I guess both should respect each others opinions instead avoiding or changing them.