There was joy and there were tears.
My son, daughter and son were going back to boarding school at Nainital after spending 4 days with us for Diwali vacations. Our daughter has been in Boarding school for 5 years now and son for 4 years. The railway station with its crowd and teeming travellers was hardly the place to burst into tears, so I fought for self control. I tried to be angry at the crowd, traffic and dirty station. Like any good Indian I was happy that my children study in good Boarding schools, but my pride was tempered with the prospect of empty nest and loneliness that accompanies it.
The train had arrived. There was time for but a final hug. Anmol sensed the tears before she saw them. Ok Dad Take care. We will meet up soon in Muscat. Its just one month for Winter Vacations. And more over I will call you on Wednesday evenings.
In the last 5 years children have grown up from kids to young adults. I am happy at there personality and traits development.
I let the tears flow as I travelled back on the Metro to home that night. Moist eyed, I clibed up the stairs to my flat. No more blaring music, Play Station sounds, no sudden requests for Paranthas or milkshake, no more incessant stream of kids from the nieghborhood, or the pleasant sound of young laughter.
Its been 5 years that we are going through this ritual. We still shed our tears when saying good bye to our kids. Missing them is part of parenthood.
But then, so is letting go.
On that note, I was listening to the classic english number today, and posted the song on my facebook :
You can let go now Daddy,
you can let go
Oh, I think I am ready,
To do this on my own
It's still a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be Okay now daddy,
You can let go.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Family First
I want to talk to you about family: your and mine.
I know and feel that as parents, you and I share some very important priorities. Just like you, I love my family more than anything in this world and I want us all to be safe, healthy, happy and prosperous in everything we do, both within our family and as we go out in the world.
As parents it is our job to be aware of of everything that can even potentially impact our families.
People enter into our family's world from all walks of life: teachers, coaches, extended families, school bullies, powerful peers and others. Some are well intentioned and some not. These people have priorities and values that may be different from our own and they can tremendously affect how our children think, feel and behave now, as well as who they become as adults. Bombardment from a massive and slick media can undermine morals and values in even the strongest of families if purposeful care is not taken to control and counteract this messages.
As parents, we are certainly not the only influences in our children's lives, so we absolutely must make sure that we are the best amd most persuasive infuence in our children's life.
Family is more important today than in past generations and its erosion is unacceptable.
I know and feel that as parents, you and I share some very important priorities. Just like you, I love my family more than anything in this world and I want us all to be safe, healthy, happy and prosperous in everything we do, both within our family and as we go out in the world.
As parents it is our job to be aware of of everything that can even potentially impact our families.
People enter into our family's world from all walks of life: teachers, coaches, extended families, school bullies, powerful peers and others. Some are well intentioned and some not. These people have priorities and values that may be different from our own and they can tremendously affect how our children think, feel and behave now, as well as who they become as adults. Bombardment from a massive and slick media can undermine morals and values in even the strongest of families if purposeful care is not taken to control and counteract this messages.
As parents, we are certainly not the only influences in our children's lives, so we absolutely must make sure that we are the best amd most persuasive infuence in our children's life.
Family is more important today than in past generations and its erosion is unacceptable.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Purpose of Life
Mona, My wife's younger sister and a very loveable person in our family, wrote to me yesterday. The question she asked is asked by less than .01% people (and no one at her age). Lucky for her she did asked. It made me do some study and some introspection.
I read a book recently written by Mitch Albom titled "Tuesdays with Morrie". Its a story of an old college professor (Morrie)in his last days, a young man (Mitch)who was once his student, and life's greatest lesson. I love this book as it is a true story that leaves you with a great understanding of the question that less than .01% even think about. "What is the purpose of life?"
Morrie the old professor says : "So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."
"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let is come in. Let it come in. We think we don't deserve love, we think if we let it come in, we'll become too soft. But a wise man name Levine said it just right. Love is the only rational act.
I reflect on my life and see that above is so true and real. Each word cause confrontation. For me the most difficult one is to let love come in. Any way that's my jorney.
I thank Mona for making pick up the lost thread again. This is such a profound conversation to dwell into. While life is empty and meaningless, it doesn't take to be rocket scientist or a great saint to provide formula of life. Just by dwelling into conversation opens up a new realm of possibilities.
Untill next time...
I read a book recently written by Mitch Albom titled "Tuesdays with Morrie". Its a story of an old college professor (Morrie)in his last days, a young man (Mitch)who was once his student, and life's greatest lesson. I love this book as it is a true story that leaves you with a great understanding of the question that less than .01% even think about. "What is the purpose of life?"
Morrie the old professor says : "So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."
"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let is come in. Let it come in. We think we don't deserve love, we think if we let it come in, we'll become too soft. But a wise man name Levine said it just right. Love is the only rational act.
I reflect on my life and see that above is so true and real. Each word cause confrontation. For me the most difficult one is to let love come in. Any way that's my jorney.
I thank Mona for making pick up the lost thread again. This is such a profound conversation to dwell into. While life is empty and meaningless, it doesn't take to be rocket scientist or a great saint to provide formula of life. Just by dwelling into conversation opens up a new realm of possibilities.
Untill next time...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Marriage Elysium
Bible says What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Mark 10:9
It was a wise man who said that it is important not only to pick the right mate, but to be the right mate. And contrary to many popular love stories, it is not during the first year of bliss that most dangers crop up. Marriages do not, like dropped chinaware, smash as a result of that first quarrel.
Marriage is a rooted thing, a growing and flowering thing that must be tended faithfully. Lacking the mutual effort, we are apt to find some day that our marriage, so hopefully planted, has been withering unnoticeably. Gradually we realize that for some time, the petals have lost their luster, that the perfume is gone.
We all welcome daily watering with the little gracious affectionate act. With mutual concern for other’s contentment, with self-watchfulness here and self-forgetfulness there, it brings forth ever new blossoms.
Perhaps the greatest blessing in marriage is that it lasts so long. The years, like the varying interests of each year, combine to strengthen and enrich each other.
I remember Thomas Moore’s beautiful words on marriage:
There’s a bliss beyond all that the minister has told
When two, that are linked in one heavenly tie,
With heart never changing, and brow never cold,
Love on through all ills, and love on till they die.
One hour of passion so scared is worth
Whole age of heartless and wandering bliss;
Ah Oh! If there be an Elysium* on earth,
It is this – it is this!
*Elysium means paradise
It was a wise man who said that it is important not only to pick the right mate, but to be the right mate. And contrary to many popular love stories, it is not during the first year of bliss that most dangers crop up. Marriages do not, like dropped chinaware, smash as a result of that first quarrel.
Marriage is a rooted thing, a growing and flowering thing that must be tended faithfully. Lacking the mutual effort, we are apt to find some day that our marriage, so hopefully planted, has been withering unnoticeably. Gradually we realize that for some time, the petals have lost their luster, that the perfume is gone.
We all welcome daily watering with the little gracious affectionate act. With mutual concern for other’s contentment, with self-watchfulness here and self-forgetfulness there, it brings forth ever new blossoms.
Perhaps the greatest blessing in marriage is that it lasts so long. The years, like the varying interests of each year, combine to strengthen and enrich each other.
I remember Thomas Moore’s beautiful words on marriage:
There’s a bliss beyond all that the minister has told
When two, that are linked in one heavenly tie,
With heart never changing, and brow never cold,
Love on through all ills, and love on till they die.
One hour of passion so scared is worth
Whole age of heartless and wandering bliss;
Ah Oh! If there be an Elysium* on earth,
It is this – it is this!
*Elysium means paradise
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
This too shall pass away
We canot expect to live always on a smooth and even plane. We all face problems, worries, and fears; we all have our setbacks, our sorrows and misfortunes. They are part of the substance of living, and none of us can escape them.
You must make up your mind to the possibility of sustaining a certain measure of pain and trouble in your passage through life.
We cannot walk through out our life on mountain peaks. There are rivers and valleys along the way, and some are deep and treacherous, some a cruel challenge to human endurance.
But courage conquers all things.
And down through the centuries poets and philosophers have been telling us so in a fascinating ways.
One hundred years ago Paul Hamilton wrote an inspirational poem, which was carried by thousands in their pockets and purses:
Art thou in misery, brother? Then I pray
Be confronted. The grief shall pass away.
Art thou elated? Ah, be not too gay;
Temper this joy: this, too shall pass away.
Art thou in danger? Still let reason sway,
And cling to hope: this, too shall pass away.
Tempted art thou? In all thine anguish lay
One truth to heart; this, too shall pass away.
Do rays of loftier glory round thee play?
Kinglike art thou? This too, shall pass away!
Whate'ver thou art, where ever thy footsteps stray,
Head these wise words: This, too shall pass away.
The philosophy of centuries old Eastern Monarchs repeated by Paul Hayne is a proof that nothing lasts - not even pain.
William Shakespeare said - Come what may; Time and the hour runs through the darkest day,
Lets surrender to the wisdom of these great man and have courage because
This too shall pass away.
You must make up your mind to the possibility of sustaining a certain measure of pain and trouble in your passage through life.
We cannot walk through out our life on mountain peaks. There are rivers and valleys along the way, and some are deep and treacherous, some a cruel challenge to human endurance.
But courage conquers all things.
And down through the centuries poets and philosophers have been telling us so in a fascinating ways.
One hundred years ago Paul Hamilton wrote an inspirational poem, which was carried by thousands in their pockets and purses:
Art thou in misery, brother? Then I pray
Be confronted. The grief shall pass away.
Art thou elated? Ah, be not too gay;
Temper this joy: this, too shall pass away.
Art thou in danger? Still let reason sway,
And cling to hope: this, too shall pass away.
Tempted art thou? In all thine anguish lay
One truth to heart; this, too shall pass away.
Do rays of loftier glory round thee play?
Kinglike art thou? This too, shall pass away!
Whate'ver thou art, where ever thy footsteps stray,
Head these wise words: This, too shall pass away.
The philosophy of centuries old Eastern Monarchs repeated by Paul Hayne is a proof that nothing lasts - not even pain.
William Shakespeare said - Come what may; Time and the hour runs through the darkest day,
Lets surrender to the wisdom of these great man and have courage because
This too shall pass away.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Take Care
"Take Care". You take care, TC, You must take care.
These 2 words are used so commonly that in SMS or internet chat most conversations end with them. I was listening to Radio FM from Dubai and the RJ said at the end "Apna bahut ache se khyam rakhiyega".
My wife keeps on telling me the same thing every day from 2000 kms away.
MY QUESTION IS - Is it really possible to take care of oneself. And, if it was so easy, why would 25% of world's population be suffering from Diabetes? Why is obesity all around? Why the gyms are empty and the bars full?
I think human beings are not designed to take care of themselves. They are designed to take care of others.
Lets take the example of a young mother, a girl who never took care of her own health, takes such excellent care of her child's health and hygine. So much so that she gives up her own sleep and comforts to take care of the child for the rest of her life. A mother at age 75 would still take care (or at leat want to take care), of her child the same way, when she was 25.
Second example - A man taking care of his family. He will sacrifice his own desires to fulfill the desires of his wife & children. I live in Gulf. This is a earning ground for millions of people, who leave their families behind and work in high temperature extremly unhealthy conditions, to make the lives of their families better.
Do they care about themselves? They live on basic facilities and highly compromised lifestyles, but make sure their sons and daughters eat in good restaurants and study in decent schools, back home.
So, the question once again is - Can one really care about himself or herself? And the answer is NO. Most of us cannot Take Care of ourself. We are designed to be taken care of by some one else. While we can take care of others.
maybe when we are young and full of energy, we think we take care of ourselves. The fact is ; Its not we, but nature that is taking care.
But once you cross the mid age of 40, you officially enter the old age. And that is when you need more than ever some one to take care of you, and you to take care of some one.
Robert Browning a poet in 1800s wrote in his finest work "Rabbi Ben Ezra" ;
These 2 words are used so commonly that in SMS or internet chat most conversations end with them. I was listening to Radio FM from Dubai and the RJ said at the end "Apna bahut ache se khyam rakhiyega".
My wife keeps on telling me the same thing every day from 2000 kms away.
MY QUESTION IS - Is it really possible to take care of oneself. And, if it was so easy, why would 25% of world's population be suffering from Diabetes? Why is obesity all around? Why the gyms are empty and the bars full?
I think human beings are not designed to take care of themselves. They are designed to take care of others.
Lets take the example of a young mother, a girl who never took care of her own health, takes such excellent care of her child's health and hygine. So much so that she gives up her own sleep and comforts to take care of the child for the rest of her life. A mother at age 75 would still take care (or at leat want to take care), of her child the same way, when she was 25.
Second example - A man taking care of his family. He will sacrifice his own desires to fulfill the desires of his wife & children. I live in Gulf. This is a earning ground for millions of people, who leave their families behind and work in high temperature extremly unhealthy conditions, to make the lives of their families better.
Do they care about themselves? They live on basic facilities and highly compromised lifestyles, but make sure their sons and daughters eat in good restaurants and study in decent schools, back home.
So, the question once again is - Can one really care about himself or herself? And the answer is NO. Most of us cannot Take Care of ourself. We are designed to be taken care of by some one else. While we can take care of others.
maybe when we are young and full of energy, we think we take care of ourselves. The fact is ; Its not we, but nature that is taking care.
But once you cross the mid age of 40, you officially enter the old age. And that is when you need more than ever some one to take care of you, and you to take care of some one.
Robert Browning a poet in 1800s wrote in his finest work "Rabbi Ben Ezra" ;
Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
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